Self-Doubt Can Eat Sh**!
- shirleymariefonseca
- Sep 17, 2019
- 3 min read
Keeping it 100 with you here. Self doubt is something I've been struggling for so long. My earliest memories are from as young as 8 and not being able to decide even the simplest of things. I mean how many real or big decisions could a 8 year old really have? Not many really but that was me: do I want chocolate milk or regular? What if the chocolate one makes my stomach hurt or what if I drink the regular and it's tasteless & boring?
Silly I know but that's my life in a nutshell. A series of indecisions, crushing negative thought, consistently brewing away in my mind. This past weekend I had had one of my bad days. It's one of those days that the negative nancy in my mind felt so overwhelming. To the point that I didn't want to get out bed or do anything.
Anxiety & self-doubt started creeping in and all I kept thinking about was how time was slipping away.
The thoughts of I'm wasting time! I'm running out of time! I want to get married, have kids, buy a home and create a fulfilling career. Who do I think I am? Wanting these things. I can't take care of myself, how the heck do I plan on taking care of kids or of a family etc? I'm never going to leave this unfulfilling job because I'm not smart enough to do anything else. How could anyone love me?! The list was endless of the negative thoughts that were rolling around up there. It all kept ringing in my head like an alarm. Could this be what a mid-life crisis feels like?
Well I'm not sure but that's what I imagine it feeling like. An ongoing battle with your heart and mind vs the reality that is your life. All the self-doubt continuing to dig a deeper hole. I have to admit on this bad day I didn't do what I should of done. I should of gotten up and gone for a walk or done yoga. DO SOMETHING to get out of the black hole that was my current state of mind. BUT I didn't. I wallowed for several hours in bed and cried my eyes out. Admittedly not my best response or answer to what I was going through but it's real life. And I'll never be perfect but I have to strive to be the best version of myself to continue to grow and learn how to overcome these mind obstacles just like anyone else.
So the next time you have a bad day. I encourage you to do the OPPOSITE of what I did (lol)
Take A moment to ground yourself by saying out loud what you're grateful for in your life right now.
Do an activity that you enjoy. Whether it's going for a walk, run, yoga, reading, anything that lights up your heart.
Yes, you only have one life and time can be fleeting but choosing to overcome those bad days with something positive, that you enjoy, is a hell of a lot better than sulking away in bed. NOW that is truly a waste of time. Next time you look in the mirror tell Self-Doubt it can EAT SH**!
Comments